Monday, November 7, 2011

TWO PENNY SAGA: A Portrait of the Super Villain as a Young Man

 I took a random sentence, used it as the first line in a story and wrote for five minutes. This is what I got.

Paul couldn’t resist shouting out his joy.

On the enormous monitors were the faces of every world leader telling him that they would surrender if he called off his robot spiders. 

“I did it!”  Paul shouted standing up.  “Finally, after all these years I have done it!  I have taken over the world!” 

Paul leaned back in his throne and wiped a tear from his eye.  This day had been so long in the making.  He’d wanted to take over the world since he was in Junior High and realized that the planet needed a dictator to stop bullies from beating up all the smart people. 

His first couple of attempts in high school had ended with him in detention and dateless for prom.  After college Paul legally changed his name to Mr. Carnage and tried to take over the world using his parent’s basement as his fortress.  None of the attempts were that impressive until his mom kicked him out and he was forced to move into an arctic ice fortress.  Soon after that he found an army of mutant soldiers on Craig’s List and convinced his sister’s boyfriend to build him a gravity laser. 

However, Mr. Carnage still couldn’t get a foothold on world domination so after much thought, he went back to school, got a PhD in Philosophy and became DR CARNAGE!  Since then he had developed his hypnotic syrym, a time traveling rocket ship and his robot spiders which had captured Captain Ultra and his Super Squad.

The phone on Dr. Carnage’s desk buzzed.  “Hey Dr. C!”  Janine, his secretary squawked through the intercom.  “Congrats on the whole world domination thing!  Just so you know I have some gentlemen from the IRS here to talk to you.”

“The IRS?”  Dr. Caranage asked.

“Yeah, they say that taking over the world is going to do a doozy on your income taxes in April.  Also I have some guys who want to talk to you about that universal health care you promised and I’ve got a couple billion people on hold who are complaining about the state of the job market.”

Dr. Carnage slumped in his throne.  After much thought he mumbled, “Janine, release Captain Ultra and his Super Squad from the volcano prison.”