22 Things I have recently learned about Life, the Universe and Everything.

So it's been a while since I have gotten a chance to post something about movies.  This will soon be rectified.


First, I want to share 22 things I learned during my recent visit to this place. 

1) Flights can sometimes be delayed for over four hours.  Here is a helpful list of fun things you can do while waiting in an airport:
            #1 Drink Alcohol
*End of List* 

 2) Giovanni Lorenzo Bernini (1598-1680) is considered by many to be Rome's favorite artists.  His sculpture the Ecstasy of St. Teresa has been considered scandalous by some as it depicts an angel thrusting his spear into the breasts of a saint.  Americans don't know as much about Bernini because he was never turned into an anthropomorphic turtle.  

3) My wife will literally find one cat for every city we will ever visit in our lives.  

4) Churches in Rome can be misleading.  On the outside they look like this....

But then you step inside.
(Almost like an allegory.)

5) Everyone and their overbearing mother already knows you're an American tourist.  You might as well flaunt it. 

6) So you know how people say that Pompeii was an ancient city?  Well now it's a city-sized set of ruins to walk around and explore.  The place goes on and on.  We only had 1 1/2 hours before we had to head back, but could have been there all day.  More than any other place in Italy, it gave a true sense of what life was like for people who lived thousands of years ago.    

7) Even on a cloudy day, Capri is more beautiful than Baltimore.  

8) See number 5. 

9) Catching an otherwise debilitating cold while traveling isn't that bad because you're surrounded by places like this and somehow you just push through it. 

10) It's often a smart idea to order pizza when traveling.  1. It's usually cheaper than many of the alternatives.  2. You know you're going to get a healthy portion.

But on the other hand I'm so !@#$ing tired of pizza!

11) I'm assuming that hanging the laundry is not a chore your assign your clumsy seven-year-old son who is prone to dropping things.

  12) Alfred Hitchcock was right. 

13) Venice is the most surreal place I have every been to.  It really feels like you are walking through a dream (especially at night).  You are in a city but there is no traffic and there are canals instead of streets and churches instead of office buildings.

14) Most of the time you need to listen to reason (reason=my wife) but sometimes you need to ignore reason (once again, my wife) and just get that photo you really want.   I really wish I had thought to pack my swim trunks.

(By the way this was taken in Switzerland, not Venice)

15) However, most of the time you should listen to your wife and not jump up and down really hard on the grate. 

16) You can cross an ocean, climb a mountain and journey to the highest railway station in Europe but Baltimore will always know where to find you. 

17) Despite #5, it's still smart to attempt to blend in with local customs and traditions.  Like baby eating. 

18) In Switzerland you can buy the best tasting beer you will ever drink in your entire life for less than 10 dollars at a random gift shop and leave with the assurance that soon you will be returning to America where Budweiser is considered an acceptable beverage. 

19) A hike that I will remember for the rest of my life = A weekly Sunday afternoon stroll for everyone who lives in Switzerland.  

20) Someday I'm going to move to a place where I can walk out of my front door and see mountains.  (Instead of my neighbor's racist bumper stickers.) 

21) Airline seats are really comfortable. 

22) Finally, I know that a lot of the things I have "learned" may be a little tongue in cheek but I'm being completely serious when I say, if you EVER get a chance to go hang gliding actively seek out a chance to go hang gliding.  I know a lot of people who say that they could never do this because they're too scared, but I guarantee you that you will be so happy that you did it.  Yes, I had butterflies right before we took off but once you're up there you don't even consider how it might be dangerous.  It's simply one of the best experiences of your life. 



Also, cat's really like it when you leave them with relatives for two weeks.