Sunday, September 18, 2011

TWO PENNY SAGA: Night Horrors

I took a random sentence, used it as the first line in a story and wrote for five minutes. This is what I got.

Rosalie stifled her scream and cowered under the blanket.

The purple monster with spiked tentacles and twenty eyes slid across the floor toward her.  The creature put its horned snout on the foot of the bed.  “You know Rosalie, I’m really not that bad!”

“Yes you are!”  Rosalie cried.  “You live in my closet and eat the feet of little girls!”

“True, but there are much worse things in the world.  Like, HIGH SCHOOL!”

Rosalie was quivering.  “What’s that?”

“In high school they will teach you algebra and make you take showers in gym!  You’ll grow acne and have to wear braces.  All of your friends will stab you in the back.  Everyone else will have a boyfriend, even Alicia McDermit!”

“That’s not true!”  Rosalie whimpered.

“Then you’ll go to college and waste your time studying drama and philosophy!  After that you’ll have to spend the rest of your life paying student loans.  In this economy you won’t be able to find a job with decent benefits much less a 401K.  You’ll spend the rest of your life in a miserable little cubicle listening to your co-workers complain about the weather while dreaming of someday getting your poetry published.”

Rosalie clenched her fists.  “Oh, yeah?  Well, what about this?”  The little girl grabbed a crumpled sheet of paper off her bedside table.

The monster snarled, “Where did you get that?”

“My mommy made me clean out my closet, and I found this comedy routine written by you!  It’s boring, trite and not nearly as cutting edge as you think!” 

“It’s a satire!”  The monster burst into tears.  “Why doesn’t anyone understand that?  People would get the jokes if they bothered to open a newspaper!  But no I guess it’s more fun to boo the new guy at armature night!”  Sobbing, the monster turned and slithered back into the closet, leaving Rosalie to sleep in peace. 

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