"... and then I
tripped," he said to no one in particular.
Mark looked around the bleachers. No one watching the high school basketball game had been
listening to his story. He sighed,
stood up walked a few rows down until he spotted a cute girl with short black
hair. He sat next to her and said
as loudly as he could reasonably manage, “So last Tuesday I was out in my back
yard when I saw a white rabbit hopping along in a waistcoat and a top hat-.”
“Silvermen!” A Josh
McDonald smacked Mark in the back of the head and sat between him and the girl.
“Who the hell are you talking too?”
“No one.” Mark
mumbled. He stood up and walked
the rest of the way down the bleachers.
He could feel both of them glaring at the back of his head.
Ms. Church was standing by the emergency exit. She was the new biology teacher, less
than a year out of college.
Mark stood as close to her as he could without feeling like
a creep. He looked over at her,
smiled and said, “So last Tuesday I was raking leaves in my backyard when I saw
a white rabbit hopping along in a waistcoat and a top hat. It pulled out a bottle of orange soda
and said-.”
“Mr. Silverman!”
The vice principal cleared his throat. “Either get back in the bleachers
or feel free to leave!”
“Thanks Mr. Glass!”
He gave a big thumbs up and walked out of the gym.
Out in the parking lot, Mark spotted Mrs. Lake, his best
friend’s mom, smoking a cigarette by her car. She had to be in forties but still had a great body. It was also kind of hot that she was
rebellious enough to smoke on school property.
“Hey! Mrs. Lake!” He ran over to her. “Did I tell you about the time I was
out in my yard raking leaves and I spotted a rabbit in a waistcoat and a top
hat and it was hopping along and pulled out a bottle of orange soda and said,
‘This’ll take care of those vampires in my attic?’ And it was so weird I tripped over a rock!”
Mrs. Lake stared at Mark like she didn’t know if she should laugh
or pepper spray him. She finally
decided to get into the car and lock the doors.
Mark turned around.
His big brother had been right.
That really was a terrible story to use when trying to pick up girls.
He was about to walk home by himself when a cute girl with
curly brown hair and glasses ran up to him. “That story was so cool! Do you actually have vampire hunting
rabbits in your backyard?”
“Of course!”
Mark said. “Don’t you?”
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