Frugglesby didn't think his life would come to this: Fun Dip dust down his pants and Saf-T pops suck to his hair.
“Cindy!” He begged while everyone in the outdoor café stared. “Don’t make a scene! I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings!”
“How nice of you!” Cindy laughed. Her licorice colored dreadlocks swayed back and forth. “Is that why you decided to break up with me on our anniversary?”
“No you aren’t. Not yet!” The woman flew up into the airs. “I am Cindy Sweetooth, goddess of candy and you will taste my sweet wrath!” She threw her arms in Frugglesby’s direction and a swarm of Skittles struck him in the face.
“What the hell you think you’re doing to my man, bitch!” A muscular woman dressed in thousands of different colored puffballs fell from the heavens and landed on the table behind Frugglesby.
“Your man?” Cindy snarled. “You left me for Yolanda?”
“‘Left for’ is such a strong term,” Frugglesby coughed.
“She’s the goddess of fat free yogurt!”
“But she’s really nice when you get to-“ A noose made out of gummy worms wrapped around his neck.
Yolanda shoved Cindy back. “Hands off! F man’s mine now! We’re going to be together forever!”
“Forever?” Frugglesby choked.
Both goddesses stared at him. “Why?” Yolanda asked. “You got other plans?”
“I’m just saying I need space. I think we should be open to seeing other people and honestly I think this is all moving too-.”
Frugglesby was thrown back in an explosion of jawbreakers and cherry flavored yogurt.