Frugglesby didn't
think his life would come to this: Fun Dip dust down his pants and Saf-T pops
suck to his hair.
“Cindy!” He
begged while everyone in the outdoor café stared. “Don’t make a scene!
I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings!”
“How nice of you!”
Cindy laughed. Her licorice
colored dreadlocks swayed back and forth. “Is that why you decided to break up with me on our
anniversary?”
“I’m sorry!”
“No you aren’t.
Not yet!” The woman flew up
into the airs. “I am Cindy
Sweetooth, goddess of candy and you will taste my sweet wrath!” She threw her arms in Frugglesby’s
direction and a swarm of Skittles struck him in the face.
“What the hell you think you’re doing to my man,
bitch!” A muscular woman dressed in
thousands of different colored puffballs fell from the heavens and landed on
the table behind Frugglesby.
“Your man?”
Cindy snarled. “You left me
for Yolanda?”
“‘Left for’ is such a strong term,” Frugglesby coughed.
“She’s the goddess of fat free yogurt!”
“But she’s really nice when you get to-“ A noose made out of gummy worms wrapped
around his neck.
Yolanda shoved Cindy back. “Hands off! F
man’s mine now! We’re going to be
together forever!”
“Forever?”
Frugglesby choked.
Both goddesses stared at him. “Why?” Yolanda
asked. “You got other plans?”
“I’m just saying I need space. I think we should be open to seeing other people and
honestly I think this is all moving too-.”
Frugglesby was thrown back in an explosion of jawbreakers
and cherry flavored yogurt.
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